Theosophists and the Light Bulb
Q: How many Theosophists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. By the time they finish discussing whether the lightbulb needs changing, the proper method in which to change the lightbulb, how it might have been done historically, and how everybody else changes lightbulbs, it's already daylight.
B: None. It was the karma of the bulb to burn out. In time it will replace itself, perhaps with a higher but never with a lower wattage bulb.
C. If we consider that was during a meeting of Ledbeaterians and Blavatskyans they would remain in darkness once they would never agree about the proper way to change the light bulb. The discussion becomes so animated that a flying chair breaks the fixture along with the lightbulb.
D. None. If they are krishnamurtians, they would say: Light is a bulbless land!
One theosophist suggested:
We must make a comparative study of lightbulb, only after we can sdecide what to do.
Comparative Studies on the Lightbulb:
Feminists: No men will change the light bulb.
Chauvinism: We may not change the light bulb, but you can't live without us...
Al-Kaida: The light bulb burns out Take a hostage.
Judaism: Why always the light bulb burns out just before to close the deal?
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock. Here, we insist to change your light bulb.
Baptist: The light bulb burns out! (Amen!) You are burning too often, and you'll be punished for it.
Seventh Day Adventism: No light bulb shall burn out on Saturday.
Atheism: I can't believe this light bulb burned out!
Amish: This modern light bulb is worthless.
Calvinism: The light bulb burns out because you don't work.
Hinduism: This light bulb have burned out before
Taoism: Did you listen to the sound of the light bulb burning out?
Zen: We are the Light Bulbs
Utopianism: The light bulb is not really burned out.
Hedonism: There's nothing like a good light bulb burning out!
Theosophists still not satisfied with the result, and undecided about how is the proper way to change the light bulb, begin arguing. An observer raises and says:
Why are you theosophists arguing over the light bulb?
Silence invades the dark lecture hall; and an old and wise theosophist lits a candle, stands up and says:
My friend the question you raised is of great importance. As there was arguing between theosophists before, I will reply your questions with some quotes, which I am sure, will give you enough food for thought:
Richard M. Nixon once said: The theosophists do not argue. I repeat, the theosophists do not argue.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all theosophists will be free to argue without having their motives called into question.
John Lock: Because they are exercising their natural freedom rights.
Darwin: Theosophists, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to argue.
The Pope: That is only for God to know.
Immanuel Kant: The theosophist, as autonomous being, has chosen to argue over the lightbulb.
Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why theosophists argue. Someone told us that the theosophists argue, and that was good enough for us.
Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny the argue in your ownself.
Mark Twain: The news of argue between theosophists has been greatly exaggerated.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: Who argues?
The Sphinx: You tell me.
The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said to the theosophists, "Thou shalt argue with other theosophists." And theosophists argued with each other, and there was much rejoicing.
Taoism: Listen to the sound of theosophists arguing.
Jehovah witness at the door of theosophists: Knock, Knock, Knock… Hi we are here to argue with you.
29.Rastafarianism: Lets smoke while theosophists are arguing.
Hare Krishna: The Theosophists argue, Rama Rama, Ding Ding.(Repeat until you begin arguing also).
The meeting was over and all theosophists left the lecture hall, without to change the lightbulb.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Luke Wallwork on
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Brilliant !
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Permalink Reply by Susan Thomas on
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Thank you so much! I have read this a dozen times, and it's still bringing tears to my eyes....
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Permalink Reply by Mikhayl Von Riebon on
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Couldnt have fit any better, thanks for sharing
Mikhayl
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Permalink Reply by Will Morrow on
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Erica,
Great job!! Obviously, we are not true Theosophists here as none of us is arguing about what you posted. :)
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I disagree. See my new book, "It Takes a Lodge to Change a Bulb" available only on my own vanity press. It is $800.00 American, $850 autographed. Limited edition.
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Permalink Reply by Konstantin Zaitzev on
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Theosophists: it was Edison, F.T.S., who invented a lightbulb. So theosophy is true sourse of all religions.
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Permalink Reply by Bart Lidofsky on
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Here's a piece I wrote for Hodgepodge Lodge about a decade ago. Tony Lysy read it, IIRC.
Lightbulb on the Path
By Bart Lidofsky
There was a general Theosophical Conference last month. All groups calling themselves Theosophical were invited (as the organizers felt that they could not claim a definition of “true” Theosophy). The conference started out with surprisingly little fighting. That is, until a lightbulb burned out. At that point, the various groups started an argument as to the proper way to change the lightbulb.
“You cannot force evolution”, said the traditionalists. “It should be allowed to express its current level of development, and change itself, over time!”
The followers of Annie Besant did not agree. “Sometimes, one must force a lightbulb to change so that it can continue its evolution.”
“If we allowed ourselves to become sufficiently evolved”, replied the followers of Leadbeater, “we would all shed our own light (in the color of our own ray, of course), and would have no need of lightbulbs”.
The Alice Bailey group said, “It doesn’t matter that the lightbulb burned out. We have a much more advanced lightbulb with which to replace it, anyway!”
The Esoteric Section appeared with a lightbulb which they tried to keep hidden, although everybody was sure that they had already seen it.
The representative from the Krishnamurti non-group said, “We cannot, of course, tell you the proper way to change a lightbulb. But we do have some suggestions that you might want to try out.”
The Pasadena group said that the lighting was much better in the western end of the room, and everybody should simply move over there. Point Loma, on the other hand, didn’t really care much how the light bulb was changed, as long as they got the publishing rights.
A man representing the Church Universal and Triumphant, said, “We have the One True Light Bulb, but we can only use it if it is properly protected against the coming of the Armageddon.”
A member of the Thule Society stated that any lightbulb could be used, provided that it was of European origin. The Cult of Annoyed Theosophists agreed that any lightbulb would do, provided that it was not the same brand as the previous one. The ULT members, in the meantime, also agreed that any lightbulb would be OK, as long as the person who changed it remained anonymous.
The followers of Benjamin Crème declared, “With our light bulb, you will never need another light bulb again. It will reveal itself when you are all ready for it; as a matter of fact, it appeared in Istanbul last May!”
The followers of Sai Baba were silently attempting to materialize a light bulb out of thin air. The Therapeutic Touch group, in the meantime attempted to meditate until they could find an answer.
The proceedings grew hotter and hotter, until they were about to reach a decidedly untheosophical pitch when a member of the Theosophical Order of Service caused an abrupt halt in the arguing by pointing out that the Henry S. Olcott Fan Club had just gone ahead and replaced the lightbulb.
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Permalink Reply by Andrew W. Smith on
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Absolutely hilarious! I love it! Thanks!
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Permalink Reply by Jon Knebel on
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Thanks, Bart, and Happy Birthday!
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Permalink Reply by M. Sufilight on
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My views are:
Lol.
Thanks.
Then the Himalayan Masters came along and said:
There is only one Light Bulb and its Light never burns out!
The other Light Bulb(s) was or is just Maya and Karma.
M. Sufilight
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And then Lightmaster of the Lightmasters said:
This One "Light Bulb" Light is really within in you, and not within the limited thoughts you have about your self. Duality is unreal. There is in fact no duality. That One "Light Bulb" Light is also known as ParaBrahman beyond time and thought, and letters. And the Darkness and the false Light could not get to it.
And the "Himalaya Masters" stopped pretending that they had another view.
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