Once upon a time in Tibet there was a lama and a Christian missionary. And every day they ran into each other on a ledge going down to the town and every day they argued. Well, one day they argued so forcefully that the ledge gave way.
And they both woke up in Hell and standing over them was a devil with their room assignments.
The lama looked at the devil and said, "I am Guru Rimpoche. I have been a monk since I was three, studied the works of the Buddha all my life and have never wandered from the Eight-fold Path or done any other unholy thing. What am I doing in this place?"
"You aren't a Christian," the devil answered. At which point the missionary jumped to his feet and shouted, as missionaries who find themselves in Hell are wont to do, "I was saved at five! I graduated from Wheaton College and I have spent the last twenty five years of my life in Tibet ministering to the heathen, this heathen over here in particular! What, you should pardon the expression, the Hell, am I doing here?"
"You're an enemy of the Dharma," was the devils quiet reply as he looked at his lists.
At this point the lama grabbed the devil by the horns and the missionary, agreeing for the first time in his life with the lama, grabbed the devil by the tail and both started beating on the poor spirit with their fists as well as with his laptop.
"Stop it! Stop it!" the devil shouted. "It won't do you any good. Neither of you are Scientologists!"