I have been away exploring the fpmt.org website and educational offering

and while it was good in some aspects, I am now back here. I found the Buddhist site a little too religious albeit not dogmatic. The best thing I have learned was about Tantra and mantras and having said this there is not reason for me to return. I have written a small essay on Tantra and mantras on my webpage and I will not repeat it here but I will give the link if you desire to check it out. a little taste of Tantric Enlightenment 

I have passed a bunch of lessons on their Discovering Buddhism but I was stopped on my tracks by the necessity of finding a Lama and/or the need to travel to Nepal , which is not very high on my agenda. 

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Hi! Glad you are back! I thought you were studying Hermetics via Franz Bardon. It is always nice to keep looking around though.

may take some time to digest your other post...

John

Yes, Franz Bardon's Hermetics was first and then fpmt.org. 

Going from Bardon to Mahayana Buddhism must have been a big jump in interest. How did you decide to do that? I am a bit curious. There must be some link between them I have missed.

It is a little complicated. I was seeking the Truth and Bardon facilitates that with practical uses, but it was very difficult for me. As it turns out, I am suffering from something called cyclothymic disorder (a mood disorder) that makes it difficult for me to concentrate and meditate.  Most of the mental exercises that were required for Bardon were very hard for me to do. I have noticed I was going nowhere fast. It is said that healthy people have troubles so imagine someone like me. As for Mahayana Buddhism, tantric practices and healing mantras such as the Medicine Buddha and Manjushri mantra were especially designed for people who suffer some mental disorder or personality disorder.

I however realized that I do not wish to be part of an organized religion (even the Mahayana, as much as I admire them)

I understand where you are coming from now. I am sorry to hear about your illness. With a physical disease, that is likely genetic, you may want to try a western medicine approach.

The avoidance of organized religions is pretty common these days. I understand where you are coming from. Hermetic Science was often practiced in (esoteric) Christianity, which also has healing rites. If you ever decide to try that, there are some "sane" denominations out there. Send me an email if interested in another approach that is not western medicine. I have only seen healing rites in organized religions. However, Christianity is still an "organized" religion, but you won't have to travel to Nepal <g>.

Thanks for sharing.

Thanks John,

I have been seeing a therapist as well as a psychiatrist. Fortunately this is a very mild version of bipolar and I do not take medication except sleeping aid occasionally, when I need it. It started when I have discovered who I have been in my prior life. Well, I do not have memories as such only a speculation on my past life. Yet it was somewhat disturbing enough to put me through a insomniac, wild phase. I have tried acupuncture and my eastern practitioner, who I like a lot, told me about the leaky gut syndrome that most older people in the western world have, that affects brain chemistry and mood. Unfortunately, the diet is so severe that hardly anybody can follow it. So I took probiotic but the best thing is the avoidance of alcohol. 

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